Agoraphobia

[x0asrai0x]

I desperately need some help. I've had anxiety for much of my life, but not until recently it hasn't taken control of me. Now I find myself in another state, far away from what I called home, almost completely unable to leave the house. I can go on short walks, but I'm in a large city and it's nearly impossible to get anywhere without getting into a car, which is something that I just can't do. I tried going to therapy and it was immensely difficult. I had planned on continuing but I was told that I needed to pay in order to see the doctor again, and I obviously have no money since I'm unable to work. I eventually need to be able to travel to get ID and things like that, but the last time I went that far I had a panic attack so severe that I just shut down and slept for an entire day. I've spent months looking for answers, and I just don't know what to do anymore. Is there maybe a way to get a therapist to come to the house, or is there some way to talk online? Is there any hope at all of getting through this?

[Jennifer]

I do not know what services that are provided in your area, but it sounds like you need some help ASAP. In the past, how have you dealt with your anxiety. Have you ever been on disability? If you cannot work due to your anxiety then you would qualify for social security disability. As far as therapists, go, you might try a clinic in your area, but I would assume that they work on a sliding scale and would charge something.

Online counseling does cost money. This forum is free and you are able to post whatever you feel, but this is more of a support network than actual therapy.

How have you dealt with your anxiety in the past and why are you so far away from home?

[x0asrai0x]

For starters, thank you for replying to my message (and so quickly!). I am located in Fort Wayne, IN. I'm originally from upstate NY, and I did apply for SSD while I was there back in 2006 or so and I talked to my lawyer recently to explain the situation, and he told me that the only way to speed up the case was if I was being evicted. Since then, a lot has happened...I mainly came here to escape an abusive marriage. The anxiety has been getting worse over the years, and honestly, I would avoid social gatherings like christmas parties by telling people that I was sick. I've been "dealing" with it by hiding it from a lot of people because they don't understand it, and it just keeps getting worse.

As for the online therapy, is there a way to work out some sort of payment plan? I obviously understand completely that money is an issue, but until I am well I have no way of making any.

Thank you again, so much, for your reply.

[Jennifer]

Is there any immediate assistance you can get, such as food stamps or medicaid? Have you ever tried relaxation techniques when your anxiety gets to be too much? I know it must be difficult without medication and it sounds like you are doing a great job trying to figure this out.

Can you ever rationalize your anxiety and push yourself into a social situaiton? Tell me about the relationship, any reprecussions from that?

As far as therapy goes, since you do not have any money, you can talk through here and I can help you as much as possible. Do you have anyone to help you out financially? I know SSI takes a while, but 2 years should have been long enough. I know in my state they have a mental health association that helps people with such things and helps them find jobs that they can handle.

[x0asrai0x]

I'm not sure if I'd be able to get assistance...there is one person working in the household and I'm not sure if that would lessen my chances. Also, I don't think there's a way to apply online. Getting to the office would be far too difficult at the moment. I have been meditating and listening to many tapes for relaxation and they've been helping while I'm in the house. Not so much outside yet. I do realize that this takes time, it's just really overwhelming.

I'm not entirely sure what directly causes the anxiety, though I know that loud sounds and crowds and such increase the level of anxiety a great deal. I have been pushing myself a little bit each day to take longer walks, and a few times I've pushed myself to go to social gatherings (though I didn't make it without having several intense panic attacks in a row).

The relationship I was in, I'm sure caused a bit of psychological damage as any kind of abuse does, though I feel that I have bettered my situation where I am, despite the agoraphobic feelings.

I know that I wouldn't be able to work right now, though I do plan on working in the future. It's learning how to work through this and finding the right resources that seems to be the most difficult right now. I've looked on local websites for the state of Indiana and I don't seem to be finding much on mental health. As for the SSD case, is it possible that I've chosen the wrong lawyer? If so, do you know if there is a way to switch to another?
(I apologize for all of the questions.)

[Jennifer]

First of all, do not appologize, you are trying to better yourself and that is a wonderful thing. It could not hurt to try another lawyer. Have you reached out to the anxiety community where you are. Are there any pysch hospitals in your area, they might be a resouce.

I agree that your past relationship might be causing this and that it would be good to get some help now instead of later. I know you cannot afford much, but if you want to work out something anything, email me directly @ jennifer@completecounselingsolutions.com. I am sure that you saw the different options on the services page, if not look at them and let me know which one suits you the best and we will go from there.