Why do we cheat in our relationships?
- Jennifer Baxt NCC, DCC
Relationships involve a lot of emotion and vulnerability, to a degree, and when one individual is caught cheating, it can be a devastating blow to the other individual involved. The first question that is often asked, after much of the immediate anger has subsided, is, Why did they cheat? There is much speculation on the reasons why someone would cheat. It seems that everyone who has ever cheated will have their own reasons; some will have a reason, and maybe some guilt, for it and others dont seem to have any reason or guilt over it at all. Whatever the reason, the bottom line is that it can be extremely damaging to the relationship.
After the why, there is often the question of whether the relationship can be salvaged or not. In some cases, the relationship cannot be saved, but then there are other cases where the relationship can be and should be saved; it all comes down to the type of relationship a couple has. It all starts with why someone would cheat. Believe it or not, the party in the relationship who would be considered the victim could have actually played a role in encouraging the other to cheat. It could be that the person who cheated wasnt having their emotional needs met, or they feel that something else in the relationship is missing. This is not to say that it was right for them to cheat, it is simply a possible reason for their cheating. Then, there are other relationships where one individual has found out the other has cheated and they try to work it out, but no matter what they do the cheating continues. Relationships can be saved if both parties are committed to doing the work to find out the issues and deal with them. Once the issues have been dealt with and each partner is getting what they need out of the relationship, as well as learning what they need to give to the relationship, there is a very good chance that the relationship can be saved. However, a relationship that constantly has cheating going on, regardless of how much one tries to make it work through counseling and so on, has a fairly low chance of being saved.
Relationships are not easy, especially if there has been an incident of cheating. When cheating happens, it ruins the trust that had once existed and it will take time to rebuild it. A certain amount of respect could also be lost, but that, too, can be rebuilt over time. A couple who wants the relationship to work will have to look beyond the cheating and look at the real issue(s) that were possibly what led to the cheating in the first place. A marriage counselor can work with a couple who are serious about getting their relationship back on track. It will take some work and commitment, but that is the first step to rebuilding a strong and successful relationship. Online marriage counselors are available for any couples who need to sort some issues out. It is convenient, confidential and easily accessible from the home. More couples are turning to online marriage counseling all the time and are being successfully counseled on how to improve their relationships.