Parenting, Babies and Frustration
- Jennifer Baxt, LMFT, LMHC
There comes a time in many people's lives when they find that special someone. They date, they get married and then they can't wait until they have a little bundle of joy. Many have claimed that the first kid is usually the hardest. This is probably true. After all, it is the couple's first child and they have never raised one before. Doubt can arise during the nine months, but in the end the child arrives and it starts. While newborns can be incredibly cute, they can cry lots and demand nothing but attention from you for the first little while. Think that is over after the first few months? Think again. Ever heard of the terrible twos? Well, parents who have had their first kid are probably well aware of what all that is about.
There are many parents, who love their children dearly, but are worn down and the common emotion that can come out of this is anger. Unfortunately, most of the anger tends to be directed towards the child. It is not intentional at all, but it is easy for this to happen before the parent actually realizes what is going on. When a parent does realize they might be losing it a little bit too often, it might be time to go see a family counselor. A family counselor, also referred to as a family therapist, can help the parent, or both parents work through the anger they are feeling. While it is a natural emotion it is an emotion that needs to be controlled at times, especially if one is dealing with a kid that keeps them up at all hours of the night.
Family counseling is an excellent way to relieve the stress that family life can have, especially if the couple have their first newborn. With the addition of a new family member, it is possible for stress to build between the husband and wife that can ultimately lead to extra stress on their relationship. The family therapist can get the couple to stop for a moment, think about what they are trying to do and work with the couple to get their relationship out of the rocky stage. Such counseling can help the couple's bond grow stronger. This would then hopefully allow them to face the difficulties of raising a child, or a few children, together. The family counselor would help the couple learn how to take one moment at a time and not get overstressed about their situation. Some therapeutic activities, such as meditation, might be suggested in order to help the husband and wife deal with their stress and feel more rested so they can have a better family life.
Stress is not good for the child either. Children are very perceptive when it comes to sensing what the parents are feeling. Extra stress, anger and frustration expressed by the parents may actually worsen the situation because the child usually responds to such emotions by crying. By the parents taking the time to consult a family counselor, they are already taking steps to ensure their baby grows up in a good home and has the chance to develop properly. It also lessens the negative emotions the parents might have been experiencing and this might encourage more positive behavior in the child as it grows up.