How does an overbearing mom affect her son?
When talking about how a person develops and grows into the adult they eventually become, many things have to be taken into account; aspects that have a large affect on how a person develops mentally and emotionally. Their morals, values and views on life will also be greatly affected by those they look up to during their younger years. While most of these influences can have a positive effect on an individual, the influence of the overbearing mother can actually be mentally and emotionally damaging to her son. Some parents may laugh this off, but the truth is that if a son feels that he never does anything right, or does anything good enough to meet his mothers approval, he could develop a poor outlook of himself.
Parents or guardians will often have the greatest influence on him. What many parents will forget is that while children are quite resilient and can handle more stress than many give them credit for, children are still fairly sensitive when it comes to them trying to mature and grow into the person they think they are supposed to. More specifically, a son who has a mother who is rather hard and critical of her son will tend to raise a son who feels a little less confident and sure of himself. As time goes on, the starts to work hard at trying to appease his mother, or make her proud of him. This can eventually lead to the son becoming frustrated if unable to achieve the marks he thinks are expected of him in school, or going into a degree program he feels his mother would approve of; instead of him choosing something that would be of more interest to him.
The longer this kind of treatment goes on, the more critical the mother can be, even if she does not fully intend to be, of her son. Eventually, she could actually push her son away, as he gives in to the belief that nothing he ever does will meet his mothers approval. He may come to a point where he realizes that too much of his time and energy is being put into a pointless and fruitless endeavor and move on to something else.
This breakdown of a relationship between mother and child does not have to happen. If recognized early, the mother can work on changing her behavior and attitude toward her son to be less critical and more supportive. This, in turn, can help the son become more grounded, confident and sure of his self. If things have reached the critical point, when the son is a grown man and both he and his mother would like to improve their relationship, getting help from an online therapist or online counselor would be a good idea. Online counseling can help both to get some unbiased advice or suggestions that could help improve their relationship. Online therapy could also help each to see the other side of things; to finally see how the other may be feeling so that they can react to it appropriately.