How can you adjust to moving back in with your parents?
It is not uncommon for adults, single or married, to move back in with family when they come across hard financial times, especially during the recent recession. While it may not seem like something that would be difficult for some, it can be difficult for others. Some families have an easier time handling each other in small doses, while others can be quite close. That aside, it can also be quite embarrassing for many, especially men, as they have been raised in a society that emphasizes how important it is for men to be able to live on their own, and be able to provide for their own families without any aid. Though it is understandable and wise for many to return home to catch up on their financial problems and rebuild what they have lost, many could enter a situation that would be more than they bargained for.
When living with family for the first 18 or 20 years, one can be used to the idea that what their parents say goes. Many may forget what it was like living at home and may feel that temporarily moving back home will not be too hard. Unfortunately, returning home can be stressful for both parents and their adult children. There have been many articles and blogs written by the adult children who are unhappy with how they are being treated by their parents. Many can feel like they are not getting the respect they deserve and/or are being treated like they are twelve again. This can be even more frustrating for those who are married and have had to bring their spouse with them while they rebuild for their future. Parents always see their children as children, whether they feel they treat their 30 year old son or daughter as adults or not. Rules of the household can not be as they would have been had their children moved in when they were under the age of 20. However, the adult children have to realize that they are moving into someone elses house and other boundaries may need to be respected in order for them to coexist peacefully with the other inhabitants.
Both the adults and their adult children need to communicate with each other, respect each others space and give the respect that all involved deserve. Parents have to realize that their children are grown adults who have their own responsibilities to attend to and are not going to jump to every request their parents have. The adult kids have to realize that they are in someone elses space and have to accept that there may be some expectations in order to benefit from their parents help. However, even if both parties understand that they need to talk and agree on some things, a mediator can be helpful. By seeking online counseling and speaking with an online counselor about what families may have to do in order to co-exist, the family can reduce the stress in the home. Online therapy can help married couples cope with the emotions of moving back home as well, as it is not always easy to go from being completely independent to a little dependent again. An online therapist can help to resolve issues that may arise, as well as offer impartial advice and suggestions that can help make the situation easier.