How does your marriage affect your children?
- Jennifer Baxt NCC, DCC
When people get married and decide as a couple to have children, they will often forget or not realize how their personal relationship with their spouse can affect their children. Children are impressionable, vulnerable and open to picking up behavior from their parents. If the relationship between the parents is not a healthy one, they are teaching their child about unhealthy relationships; while a healthy relationship between the parents will often teach the kids about how to have a healthy relationship. The affect of the marital relationship the parents have also goes deeper than this; the relationship will often affect a child in their mental development.
Children depend on their parents in their growth and development. More often than not, how a person will parent their children will be affected by the relationship they have with their spouse. A healthy relationship will tend to lead to the parent being supportive of the child, as well as helping the child develop a good level of confidence. It can also help a great deal in the child developing a decent social life as well as being able to perform well at school. An unhealthy relationship where there is a lack of trust, constant fighting, a lack of confidence in one or both of the parents as well as an overall negative view of life will tend to be reflected on how the children in the family are parented. The parents in this kind of relationship will raise the children differently than the children in the healthier marriage. In an unhealthy marriage, the children may not get the support that they need, they will have a lower level of confidence, they may not be able to develop a decent social life and might be more introverted and anti-social instead, and their performance at school might be poor. Much of how a child develops has much to do on whether the parents agree or not on how to raise the child. Lots of disagreements will only create conflict and a child may take advantage of these weaknesses in the relationship. A child who is being raised by parents who can usually agree on how to raise the child properly will have a more difficult time in taking advantage of any weaknesses, because there are few disagreements in what is expected of the child.
When planning a family, careful consideration has to be taken in about how each spouse believes the child should be raised. A couple as to come together and plan how they are going to raise their child and decide what they each think is important. This way, they can work toward something they both agree on and eliminate too many future disagreements and conflicts. An online therapist or counselor can help a couple plan for their child. Sometimes, it takes an online therapist or online counselor to do this so that each person is heard and both have an equal chance to express what they think is important in raising a family. This can easily be done online by the expectant parents contacting an online therapist or online counselor to help them in planning for their family. The online therapist will work with the couple to ensure that everyone is clear on what has been agreed upon. This will also help the child in that the counselor will give advice and suggestion in how they can raise their child in a stable family where a child will have the chance to develop properly.